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Archive for the ‘horror movies’ Category

It seems that I pour all of my writing energy into books now. And instead of social networking, I’m socializing. I miss blogging, though. I used to love it. I can’t believe that the whole Dating Amy project will be ten in 2012. Do you know some of those guys I dated still call? Mind-blowing.

I sent my first novel, a young adult paranormal romance (not about vampires), out into the wild a week ago. I had bragged that it only took me two months to write, but then it took me eight months to revise so I shut up.

Writing my first novel was incredibly difficult and one of the hardest things I’ve ever done creatively. I keep pestering more prolific writers (aka ALL of them) to assure me that the first book is by far the hardest and the response seems to be that they’re ALL hard, but I guess I went deaf in that ear.

Having said that, I love my book. It’s sweet and funny and rock and roll, and it rubs up against being almost literary, so yeah.

Speaking of young adults and paranormal stuff I love: Have you been watching American Horror Story?

Anyone who knows me knows I love horror movies. I see pretty much everything. So of course I checked out FX’s fall offering American Horror Story. I watched like two episodes but even the credits had me lying awake at night, so I declared a ban on it, ’cause I don’t need that shiz.

But my writer friends protested, saying I needed to push through because it’s the best new show out there right now. I asked if I could skip to a recent episode because I knew there was a huge event caused by the teenage character I like, Tate, and my writer friends vetoed that. They said I had to watch the whole thing. So I forced myself to get though it and now it’s my favorite show.

It’s incredibly good. It borrows from so many horror movies that it’s an original. Francis Conroy from Six Feet Under is the older version of the housekeeper that is also played by the gorgeous Alexandra Breckenridge–whether you see her as sexy or geriatric depends on the character’s mindset at the time. This is also Jessica Lange’s first-ever television role and it’s perfect for her. Most surprising is the troubled teenager Tate Langdon, her son. Somehow the writers have made him a sympathetic heartthrob, even though he’s a crazy murderer.

I told Mark, one of my author friends, AHS makes the characters so sympathetic and real that it’s tough for me to watch.

His answer: It’s the New Horror!

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By far the most fun movie I’ve seen this summer is Sharktopus.

Granted, I really haven’t seen many movies this summer. I’ve mostly just been hanging out with friends, going out to lunch, and fighting with this young-adult paranormal romance I’ve been writing since January (the book is winning the fight, by the way).

As you know, I have to see EVERY horror movie known to man, so I did see an interesting one a few months ago: Cannibal Holocaust. Made in 1980, I think it was the first “found footage” film and an obvious influence on Blair Witch Project, which didn’t come along until 20 years later.

The premise is that a documentary crew goes into the jungle to film cannibals and, well, their footage is found a year later. The movie is notorious for not only its stark brutality, but also for the fact that several animals were actually killed on camera.

I am not necessarily recommending this film, because if it’s something you’d like, you’ve probably already seen it and I don’t want to be responsible for traumatizing any of you.

Also, the acting by the people who find the footage and watch it to see what happened to the crew is laughably bad. They give “who farted” looks while watching reel after reel of acts that are absolutely horrifying.

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So my friends constantly appear dismayed, not to mention disbelieving, that I am the last person in the free world who still goes to Blockbuster. I go for the entertainment and not all of it is on the shelves.

As you know I’m doing this mini bucket list of things to accomplish before Mad Men comes back to AMC next summer. The first thing on the list, which is in no order at all, is: #1 See a Russ Meyer film.

So the other day I went to Blockbuster (and found out that their really cool manager that I loved isn’t working there anymore) and asked them about Russ Meyer’s Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! because I didn’t see it on the shelves.

The new manager, who I also love, said it’s not even in the system and that several people were suddenly asking about that particular movie. I told him the lead actress Tura Satana had just died and that’s probably why, etc.

Me: You guys don’t really carry exploitation films, do you.
Him: No. Corporate is really careful about that. They want this to be a family friendly kind of place.

I love Blockbuster. I do. When I first moved to Seattle after 9/11 the employees there literally supplied some of the only interesting conversation I got in my first few years here.

But family-friendly standards, seriously?

I may not be online much this weekend because I’m getting my family together to watch Antichrist, Deadgirl, Se7en, and Hostel, which feature genital mutilation, teenage necrophilia, horrifying Biblical perversity, and, among other things, an eyeball hanging out of a woman’s head.

I will be renting them all at the big BB.

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According to the Hollywood Reporter, director Kevin Smith bought his own $4 million horror film Red State for $20 instead of auctioning it at Sundance as promised.

Smith plans to take the movie on the road himself prior to its October release.

Smith said that he had never intended to get into the business of the movie industry — noting that he’s simply a “fat, masturbating stoner” — but the state of the industry essentially forced his hand.

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Aw, Dino De Laurentiis died today. It seems like he had a really amazing life. RIP.

Even though I lived in L.A. for years (on the Westside where a lot of film types live, even), I often don’t realize which producers and directors did what films. Unless it’s someone obvious like Woody Allen.

Like I wouldn’t have guessed that not only did De Laurentiis produce La Strada and Serpico, but he did Dune and that remake of King Kong where the ape pulls Jessica Lange’s dress down with his finger.

I was telling some people the other day that I was going to watch my first Roger Corman film, Piranha (which I did. It was just okay.) But then I looked him up and realized he’s done a ton of movies I’ve seen. Not sure if anyone has been as prolific, as there are too many to name, but Rock and Roll High School, Little Shop of Horrors, Caged Heat, Death Race 2000, Avalanche, the underrated Dementia 13.

He also produced those Edgar Allen Poe adaptations that anyone who was a kid in the 70s would remember from TV. I loved the thoroughly creepy Masque of the Red Death and Pit and the Pendulum.

I guess I must have sensed that some day I would become a writer of fine literature.

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I had been looking forward to The Last Exorcism for a long time. I was even afraid that it would be too scary for me. I mean, I was terrified by Paranormal Activity and have only just recently been able to get it out of my mind as I lie in bed watching my bedroom door.

Last Exorcism opened yesterday and I went to the first matinee today. I was late, previews had already started, but the ticket taker told me I’d probably be able to find a seat. I guess he was mocking me because there were like ten people in the theater.

I liked the handsome preacher Cotton right away. He was on a mission to debunk exorcisms and traveled to a backwoods southern town to do so.

There he meets Nell, a home-schooled sixteen-year-old girl who may be the victim of incest… or something else entirely.

The acting was great, like really great. I enjoyed the movie until the ending. Oy, the ending. I don’t know what happened there. It was as dismal as the Nicholas Cage version of Wicker Man.

I want to encourage people to see this, but as I walked home I kept thinking that Last Exorcism made the Blair Witch Project, which I loved, look like Citizen Kane.

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Megan Fox in Jennifer’s Body

I love this slideshow of sexy female monsters. It brings new meaning to female empowerment.

The woman/what?? in my upcoming paranormal series will fit right in.

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Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley as well-funded rock star scientists who are partners in love and the lab sell this bio-engineering cautionary tale/horror thriller like you wouldn’t believe, or maybe you would given their credentials.

The real standout, though, is Delphine Chaneac as Dren (it’s nerd spelled 
backwards), who, with her tail, chicken legs and extremely wide-set eyes wearing the pathetic handmade dresses she’s been given, makes a human/animal hybrid poignant, terrifying and sexy.

Yeah, that’s right, I said sexy. There’s some stuff going on here that would make Electra blush as well as terrific CGI and a bloody stockholders meeting that was laugh-out-loud horrifying.

The movie touches on family dynamics and parenting and what can happen when science decides to play God.

They say that your real family is the one you choose, not the one you’re born into, but like Dr. Frankenstein, the creators here have to deal with the family they literally made.

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