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Archive for the ‘movie reviews’ Category

Val Kilmer

This article from Salon made me remember how much I used to love Val Kilmer. The story is not indepth at all, but the comments are worth a read.

If you’ve never seen The Doors, you should definitely see it for his performance as Jim Morrison (he does his own singing, too). He was also good in Heat and really cute in Top Secret!, a spoof that put him on the map.

According to his website, he thinks nudity is inappropriate, even “innocent” nudity.

I think I’m intrigued.

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I could only make it through a little bit of The Matrix. I just have to start owning the fact that I fucking hate dystopian sci-fi unless it’s Blade Runner. Or Brazil. But not this.

I really like Keanu Reeves, too, but the film just seemed silly to me, probably in part because I’m coming in too late in the game and so many things have borrowed from it that now the original seems derivative. [There's a trope named for this phenomenon, but I'm too lazy to look it up. Like when someone had only seen Seinfeld in rerun form and they're like, "This has all been done before," when at the time it was first shown it hadn't.]*

Even though I can’t say I truly gave it a chance, I at least attempted to give it a chance.

So that’s #3 on my mini-bucket list that I have to complete before Mad Men comes back.

I also tried to rent Faster, Pussycat from Blockbuster and hilarity ensued. That’s a post for when I have more time because it really was very funny.

* Okay, that trope is literally called Seinfeld is Unfunny.

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There’s this actor I’m obsessed with, Shiloh Fernandez. He looks and acts like Joaquin Phoenix and I mean that in the best possible way.

He was in this really inappropriate, really great indie film called Deadgirl a few years ago. He was also the dreamy boy-next-door in another indie film, Skateland, where he was the romantic interest of Ashley Greene (Twilight). I just love him.

Anyway, you probably don’t even know who this guy is, but he was the fourth choice to play Edward in Twilight. And I was thinking of how acting, like writing, is not so much unfair as uneven.

How being fourth in line for a role like the lead in a major franchise doesn’t net you for instance, one-quarter of the money and opportunities that Robert Pattinson gets.

It reminds me of writing. Because when some book gets 10 times the accolades mine did or sells 10 times as many copies, I expect to open it and see that the craftsmanship of the writing is 10 times better. That the author is literally and measurably 10 times funnier.

And sometimes that doesn’t happen. And yet hopefully things even out eventually.

Most people will first see Shiloh in the Red Riding Hood update March, 2011. He’s apparently the bad-boy woodsman who Amanda Seyfried’s parents don’t want her involved with. Also, maybe his big break is closer to his near-miss than it appears: from the trailer it looks like he may be a werewolf.

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I’m not going to do a review of The Social Network, because most of you have probably already seen it and also because if you haven’t seen it, I don’t have much to add beyond: Just go see it now. It’s fucking brilliant.

It’s being compared to Network, The Graduate, and, yes, Citizen Kane, but could it be based on a dumber premise? Why does a movie about a Web site work so well?

I’ve thought a lot about this since I basically landed a career as an author due to a silly Web site. How do you make the story classic? How do you not sound like flotsam?

There’s a really brilliant scene where the co-founder’s girlfriend confronts him about why he hasn’t changed his Facebook status to “in a relationship.” The only way to have a line like that work is to anchor the film in the past. And by that I mean the ’70s.

This movie had a very Paper Chase feel and comparisons to The Graduate aren’t entirely off. I think if you’re going to make a movie about something frightfully contemporary and possibly written in invisible ink, it’s imperative to recall something older, hence more classic. Enter sexism.

The women in this movie strip to their underwear to dance for frat guys. They make out with each other at parties, they fuck guys in bathroom stalls because the guys got a lot of hits on their Web site. There are Palo Alto groupies who like to party. There are underage “interns.”

I honestly don’t think that the men who produced a screenplay this well-written were unaware that all young women don’t act this way. I’d like to believe that it’s a very purposeful and effective callback.

There’s a confrontation scene between the protagonist, Facebook founder and the woman who accidentally inspired the site, set at what looks to my non-Ivy League self as an eating club. She reprimands him that the Internet isn’t written in pencil, it’s written in ink.

This patina of the past that infuses this film makes me believe that’s actually so.

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I had been looking forward to The Last Exorcism for a long time. I was even afraid that it would be too scary for me. I mean, I was terrified by Paranormal Activity and have only just recently been able to get it out of my mind as I lie in bed watching my bedroom door.

Last Exorcism opened yesterday and I went to the first matinee today. I was late, previews had already started, but the ticket taker told me I’d probably be able to find a seat. I guess he was mocking me because there were like ten people in the theater.

I liked the handsome preacher Cotton right away. He was on a mission to debunk exorcisms and traveled to a backwoods southern town to do so.

There he meets Nell, a home-schooled sixteen-year-old girl who may be the victim of incest… or something else entirely.

The acting was great, like really great. I enjoyed the movie until the ending. Oy, the ending. I don’t know what happened there. It was as dismal as the Nicholas Cage version of Wicker Man.

I want to encourage people to see this, but as I walked home I kept thinking that Last Exorcism made the Blair Witch Project, which I loved, look like Citizen Kane.

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I loved the preview for this movie. An adorable beta boy (Michael Cera) has to battle his lady love’s (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) seven evil exes to win her heart.

I thought it might be a more kinetic Paper Hearts, but instead Scott Pilgrim vs. the World was two hours of an inside joke I didn’t get inside a video game I didn’t understand.

At first I just figured I was too damn old for the jarring, ADD-accommodating style of this movie, but maybe it’s just that I’m too damned out. This thing has cult written all over it in comic book bubbles, literally.

It did have good indie pop, though. And warm, grounding performances from the leads, plus delicious cameos from HBO’s Thomas James and Jason Schwartzman. Kieran Culkin steals every scene he’s in as Scott’s gay roommate; they share a bed even though there’s nothing going on.

I found myself annoyed with this movie. It wasn’t so much the comic book thing–my first Web site was an homage to Chasing Amy, after all–it was the video game thing. It was the way that after Pilgrims rivals were defeated (spoiler?) coins fell to the floor as if instead of returning to dust they were returning to bus fare. Or the way there was a Crouching Tiger aerial fight scene every ten minutes. Or the way no one questioned any of it.

I found myself wondering if this movie would just be a cult thing for the type of fanwankers who were surrounding me tonight, or if I should really be taking note of the jump cuts and stupid one-liners if I hope to make it as an author. I mean is this the way things are heading?

The practical adult side of me will be checking Box Office magazine to see the weekend returns so I can decide if I should start getting my narrative inspiration from video games.

I can’t hear my regular muse right now anyway. I have tinnitus from Scott Pilgrim’s quest.

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