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Archive for the ‘personal life’ Category

Once in L.A. when I was feeling particularly broke and broken, a guy I worked with suggested a trip to Seattle, a place I’d never been. “Listen to some decent music, pound some coffee. You’ll love it.”

He was right, I did.

As an always-writer and a once-and-future musician, that’s still what my Seattle is today: Coffee. Music. Art.

Maybe that’s why it was even more shocking that yesterday when a man shot four people point blank, it was at a coffee shop. A coffee shop. They’re supposed to be havens.

It’s one thing to have people randomly shot at a place like the defunct, ironically named Mr. Lucky across from Seattle Center, which had a criminal reputation and a widely ignored NO GUNS ALLOWED sign at the door. But not a coffee shop in Seattle. We have one of the lowest violent-crime rates in the country. I mean, we’re not Miami, for God’s sake.

A second jolt ripped through me, brighter, more personal, when I heard that the shooting happened at Café Racer. My lovely, loving friends Jo David and Marlow Harris have their Bad Art Museum there. As I was checking Facebook to make sure they were okay (they were, they are, physically at least), a woman was killed by the same gunman at Town Hall, another gathering place for the arts.

As the news from the Seattle P.D. ricocheted through twitter and the news blogs, questions were answered. Drew Keriakedes and Joe Albanese of the band God’s Favorite Beefcake were victims. The suspected shooter was Ian Lee Stawicki; he shot himself when he was apprehended and later he died. He had been kicked out of Café Racer several times recently.

Then the questions got bigger. Why was Mayor McGinn not saying anything to his city? (He eventually did.) Why don’t we have more support for the mentally ill? Why don’t we have stricter gun control laws?

The biggest question, though, not only for the artists and musicians who consider Café Racer their coffee shop haven, but for all of us as society seems to get more violent every day, is a simple one with no easy answer. Why?

 

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Just wanted to do a quick update so that new visitors to this blog don’t think I’m obsessed with Justin Bieber or something.

It is finally sunnier and I don’t feel like I’m looking at everything through smoked glass anymore. The collective lifting of depression has caused an outbreak of parties, parties, parties, which has been really fun. There are lots of books coming out, lots of birthday parties, lots of general relief at not being water-logged.

And yet, I dunno. I don’t love Seattle but I don’t love anyplace else either.

Yesterday–our first over 70 degrees day in 271 days, but who’s counting–I was at Alki beach with a girlfriend.

Lying in the undiluted sunshine under kites like beautiful dragonflies, looking at the row of white-capped mountains and city skyscrapers across the sparkling water, I sat up and said “It’s so gorgeous here, but the beach itself sucks. It’s narrow with rocks and driftwood. But the view is staggering.”

“That’s Seattle,” my friend said. “Everything out there is stunning, but if you look at where you’re actually sitting, it’s falling apart. That’s why we’re moving to Florida.”

About half the people I’ve talked to recently are moving away after this past winter. It’s been nine months of cold wet slate grey. Not that I’m counting.

My problem is I want to live in more than one place:

Seattle, maybe sometimes, because you can get kickass writing done here and there are tons of people I love.

Los Angeles because it’s so magical and sunny and hip and noir (in retrospect).

And of course home in the Midwest. Because family is everything.

Some of my friends think it’s so doable for me to have three homes, but I feel like it’s challenging to maintain one.

Stay tuned, though.

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This is my view from my apartment and of life.

Seattle Rainbow

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So I’ve been laser-focused on writing this young adult paranormal book. I started on January 10 and I have about ten of the twenty-four chapters done. I see that I’ve written in my calendar under February 16: “Have YA novel done.”

That’s cute.

I am planning on having the first draft done by the end of this month at least, though.

I can tell I’m serious about this book because I’m not hanging around on the Internet all day and not watching any TV at night. I’ve also quit drinking wine–at home anyway. I’ve been hanging out at a really nice bar where I can write and have a glass, but it is not the same, believe me. I’m more productive when I’m out.

Weird.

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I swam to my friend Joe’s 29th birthday party on Saturday night during a record rainfall and it was worth it.

He and his wife have this Central District house circa the 1920s and it’s both cute and huge. It took me awhile to get there due to the rain and as I approached there was a cop flashing blue and red parked right outside. I was thinking ‘please don’t let the party be over already,’ but luckily it was just some s.o.l. sap getting pulled over and no relation to my evening. Bad luck for him with his knit cap and circumstantial contrition, because he wouldn’t be sampling any of my fabulous hors d’oeuvre.

I brought caramelized onion dip, which is becoming sort of my go-to thing to bring. I make it from whichever recipe comes up first when I Google, and that day it was Food Network’s Caramelized Onion Dip. Next time I make it I would probably double the amount of onions and cut the pepper to maybe half. It was still really delicious and very popular, as were the Ruffles potato chips, which I was embarrassed to bring, but apparently people love them.

I met some cool aspiring authors, one of whom told me that a woman he knows just got $500,000 for her debut novel. By that time I had had a delish homebrew that Joe had crafted and some chardonnay, but I’m pretty sure this now-rich author’s from Seattle and that her book is about either angles or devils. I will report back on this.

I also caught up with my friend Chris Burlingame who left his gig at Three Imaginary Girls and then met with spectacular success with his own Another Rainy Saturday, which after only six months has already been acknowledged by the Village Voice and the BBC.

I adore my writer friends old and new. Thrilling!

After all that I came home in soaked pants to a small lake in my living room. Isn’t that always the way.

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Even though I’m known for writing about my social life, my true nature is to be a shy homebody.

I mean I’m social and outgoing, but my heart’s desire would be to stay in every night. Especially when it gets dark at four o’clock, and very, very especially when it rains, which it does here in Seattle allfrickinwinterlong. I have to fight the staying-in urge because I’m already home writing all day and I really wouldn’t have a life if I gave into my cozylust.

I also think I get sort of an insidious low-grade depression when I isolate. So lately I’ve been prying myself out of the house and into the world. Not even the noble excuse of writing is keeping me in because I have a tiny purse-size laptop I can bring anywhere.

I even ordered business cards to give to people I meet at bars and parties so they don’t have to carefully write down “DatingAmy.com” after talking to me for a half hour. (Although, seriously? I picked that name because I thought it was, uh, memorable.)

The other night I went to 10 Mercer and had a glass of happy hour chardonnay (J. Lohr) and wrote a few pages of the California memoir. So this older couple sitting across from me asked what I was doing; I said I was writing a memoir about moving to Los Angeles with a back pack when I was in my 20s to become a singer (To which the older gentleman, by the way, said: “Was that in the 70s?” No offense to people who actually were born in the 40s and 50s, but I… wasn’t.) Anyway, the first question anyone asks about the Cali memoir is: Did you meet famous people? To which the answer is, of course, yes. Because in Los Angeles famous people walk among earthlings.

It’s funny, because to me the new book is about dreams and rock ‘n roll bad boys and reconciling the death of my father and music and sex and heartbreak and soaring romance.

But yes, there are a lot of famous people that I met in it.

You’d think with my years of marketing experience I’d know what’s important by now.

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I came up with a title for my new book. I’m going to call it KISSIN’ MUSICIANS! [exclamation point]

Nah, not in this lifetime. It’s not a book about dating in Los Angeles, although I will say I was surprised by the sheer volume of men buzzing around. I didn’t even remember that until I read back in all these journals. I am also surprised by the aggressiveness of some of the guys–who shows up at some girl’s door at midnight when you’re not even dating? I mean it’s not a very likely booty call if no booty ever has been (or ever will be) happening. Weird. Especially since I often had a not-too-pleased boyfriend over.

I mean it’s not like I was a stripper with regular customers. I was a temp. And a waiter. And a sales girl. And a professional Christmas caroler…

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I had this really close group of friends in high school–four boys and two other girls. The seven of us were always together–eating lunch, acting in school plays, smoking pot, watching porn, making martinis at whichever house parents weren’t home at*, hanging around the playground singing choral songs from the 1800s.

We were all in this a capella choir that was incredibly hard to get into. I remember having to do about a month of auditions for it, not sure if that’s right, but it was competitive. It wasn’t nerdy like it sounds, either. Just in my little group we had the cool archetypes: the handsome captain of the football team, the homecoming king, the class clown, the cheerleader with the best personality… The surprising thing was that they hung out with me. KIdding. The surprising thing was how nice and supportive everyone was. And creative, shit.

Because of choir, we were all put on the same schedule for some classes and the all-important lunch. For all three years. Because we were actually good we got to travel out West every year to perform.

As adults, all seven of us chose creative fields and achieved a fair amount of success in them. One of the women, Heather, was the giggly, sexy one of the group. (One time the seven of us wanted to go on a weekend camping trip and my dad said he trusted the boys with the cheerleader and I, but that he didn’t trust any boy around Heather, to which the cheerleader, who was dating one of the guys, responded, “Yeah, thanks Mr. DeZellar.”)

Heather decided to pursue acting, but it was only within the past five years after her kids were raised, so it’s not like she is 20. Or living anywhere near New York or Los Angeles. She’s in Shreveport, Louisiana, but damned if the lady doesn’t get work.

Just off the top of my head I know she’s had big movie screentime alone with Nicholas Cage, Ron Perlman and Rainn Wilson, and that’s just for 2010.

She got looks and talent, sure, but I think her incredibly great attitude and, for lack of a better word, hopefulness help her get work.

On a practical level I almost wonder if it’s better to not be in L.A. Like the city takes its own for granted to a certain extent? I mean I couldn’t get arrested when I was writing there, I moved to Seattle and suddenly I’m on the local Los Angeles morning news, in the L.A. Times and reading from my memoir at Book Soup on Sunset.

I saw the cheerleader a few years ago and she told me a friend of hers moved from Los Angeles to Portland, Oregon to become a screenplay writer. She bristled when I told her I thought that was ridiculous, that you have to be in L.A. to make it in the movies. I wonder now if she was on to something, though.

The last Twilight movie is filming in Louisiana right now. Heather tells me it’s cutthroat to even get in as an extra. I bet if anyone can do it, though…

* I am not just saying this because she has kids, Heather did not participate in any of the nefarious stuff with us. Because she lived far away and did not have a car.

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As anyone who knows me knows, I’ve been working on a memoir “about my neighborhood” for over two years. It’s really much bigger and more intriguing than that, but that’s its code name. It’s like when you’re driving through Los Angeles and you see cardboard signs with arrows that say this way to “Clearasil Commercial Shoot” which is really secret code for the latest Brad Pitt movie.

Anyway. There has been a lot of interest in the Neighborhood Book, but not enough to keep me going, and for now… I am deciding to cut my losses and put it aside.

The truth is, I met another project and I’m crazy about it. I get up at 5 a.m. to work on it and when friends text me to go to lunch at 7 a.m., I think they’re weird, but then I look at the clock and it’s 1 p.m. and it’s just that I’ve been that absorbed in my work for hours.

There is resistance, though. A mini outcry. The old project is like the boyfriend that everyone has gotten used to–actually people really like him and want me to keep seeing him.

I don’t know what to say. It’s not him, it’s me. Maybe someday we will get back together and work things out. I just need space to work on this new book (that I’m really, really excited about). We’re in the throes of ecstasy, but I know I need to act like I at least feel a little bad for leaving that other project. (Clearasil? Neighborhood? I’m already forgetting its name!)

Speaking of misleading cardboard signs, the new memoir takes place in L.A. It may sound like an acne commercial, but it’s totally Brad Pitt.

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This morning I was drinking coffee and screwing off on twitter, cheerfully minding my own business when my doctor called to tell me I have skin cancer.

It’s the good kind. Shallow like the Los Angeles beach I probably got it on. I’m having surgery tomorrow and it will be removed, but for now: I actually have cancer.

I wear SPF 55 sunscreen.
Dr: “Ah, Neutrogena?”
Me: “Yep.”
Dr: “They’re good.”
Like they’re a law firm representing me or something.

The thing is what we were joking about on twitter is this. A really sensitive guyfriend of mine took exception to the meme on facebook that has women posting where they like to leave their purses as a breast cancer awareness callout.

It’s this season’s ‘pale pink with black lace trim’ status update. Last January women posted the color of the bra they were wearing to draw male attention to breast cancer. I think.

For example with the purses joke I’d say: I like it on my kitchen floor, and it’s not just one. I’m doing it with two Hobos right now.

The real issue here is, have I been smited? My friend feels that other kinds of cancer should get some attention and then, during that actual conversation, I got one of the other kinds of cancer.

The good news is that the mole I had the doctor remove from my neck just because it was ugly is totally cancer free.

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